Husband who is selfish

Selfish people think they are a gift from heaven, and as such, he doesn't want to change, meaning that everyone else must adjust to him, which is a perfectly normal behavior for him. If your husband thinks it's ok to be that much selfish, you must stop him in his tracks; otherwise, you are the one to get hurt. It's okay that some changes happen. Maybe he's right when he says that you have to lose some weight if it is for your own good after all.

However, if he makes inconsiderate statements about your appearance all the time without looking at himself and how he looks first, it's just a sign that he is too selfish to admit that something is wrong with him, and it's up to you not to allow that.

His inconsiderate moves can make you think he cheats on you, but that doesn't always have to be the case. Try to talk honestly and openly with him, as it might be just a short-lived phase in his life or a midlife crisis this refers to people who have been in a long marriage.

Show him that you are always there for him and that his behavior hurts you. If he avoids a conversation, try other means to find out what is torturing him. If the problem cannot be solved or your husband shows no interest in doing so, there is no need to remain in a marriage that is hurting you. However, try not to jump to any conclusions. If both sides have the will and desire to solve the problem, it is possible to overcome it.

My advice is to talk to him over and over to make him reveal his worries and problems, so you can figure out a solution together. There is no greater pain than the anguish of a Bad Marriage don't become the next victim! Regrann from daddyfreeze - Does a good GOD want you in a bad marriage?? The answer is NO! Ladies don't rush into marriage because you are getting old, or because your parents want a grand child or because you feel that if you are not married after a certain age you are deemed a failure.

Marriage does not determine success, on the contrary, failure can be a result of a BadMarriage. Always settle for long term happiness, even if it means short term discomfort.

If you can't make yourself happy no one else can! Don't be waiting for a man or woman to be your emotional or financial helper, instead look for someone that shares common goals, interests and perception with you and strive to achieve the goals together! There is no greater pain than the anguish of a BadMarriage don't become the next victim!

Money doesn't guarantee happiness in marriage. The recently trending case of a pretty mixed race actress has clearly shown this. The sadness of a bad marriage cannot be wiped away by 'Gucci' 'Rolex' or 'Range Rover' these things are nice but we don't know how fickle and transient they are until you own them and your marital sorrow still persists. It's also harder to leave a rich man that a poor one! Marriage doesn't make you! You make it! What is a good and happy marriage?

Signs of a selfish husband. Sign 1: Everything bothers him. Sign 2: He nags about your look. Sign 3: He's not your friend anymore. Sign 4: He argues for no reason. Sign 5: You have sex only when he wants. Sign 6: Your selfish husband doesn't show empathy. Sign 7: His interests come first. Sign 8: He finds you as the main culprit for everything.

Sign 9: Your selfish husband is always right. Sign A selfish man thinks his behavior is normal. Should you stay in a selfish marriage? Learn the sensation from both e Zoosk vs. Match: Which is the Superior Dating App? Sometimes, it all takes a few t A sincere Cancer man won't canc It is always better to ask him Can This Be Love? Here are a few ways to handle a selfish spouse.

One of the biggest mistakes we do is to complain. No matter how disappointed you are or how inconsiderate your spouse is, never call them selfish.

That will only make them defensive. Instead, try to convey your expectations. There could be 99 incidents where your spouse proved to be selfish. But there might also be one incident where they put you and the kids first. This means there is still scope for change. Instead of reflecting on their selfish behavior, try to focus on that one generous incident and encourage them.

For example, your wife does not usually involve herself in matters concerning your parents. But on one occasion if she offers to take care of them, then appreciate her for the gesture. Such small things can bring in a big change. You might be unknowingly taking care of every responsibility, giving little chance for your spouse to do anything. This might make them laid back or hesitant to take up responsibilities. Therefore, clearly demarcate the responsibilities and let your spouse do their part for the family.

Turn attention on to yourself. You do not have to ignore your needs and desires and replace them with that of your partner. This will not make them realize your sacrifices but fuels their selfish behavior. Focus on your wants, aspirations, and happiness while fulfilling your responsibilities towards your family. You cannot keep quiet and hope your spouse to change one day.

If their actions are making you suffer, then speak up. But take care not to be aggressive as it will end in a bitter fight. Be soft but firm. Do not yell at them or blame. Use your words carefully but make sure they are powerful. I am also the breadwinner. He has a few things that he does on routine like garbage, lawn, watering plants but he has a room that he squirrel away all his things.

Only does his own laundry and if anything crosses in his zone he puts it in the hallway. He wants 20 min when he gets home from work before he does anything for me or the children. I dont get 5 min let alone 20 min. When i bring up anything…. He says im a victim or im borderline.

I feel like a single parent. I believe these are all fantastic tips on resolving your own codependency issues as well as learning more about expectations. Many of us have a tendency to create martyrdom, instead of actually challenging ourselves to do the work in ourselves. That same therapist gave me a code, by which to live, which could sum up part of what your site here suggests: 1 Ask for what you need.

Though, culturally this is a fatal paradigm, we as individuals can influence immediate spheres, beginning with our children and our own families.

To effect change instead requires understanding; freedom to both feel and speak, as well as room to make choices. What all of us are left with is our own choice, no matter what anyone else chooses to do.

It boils down to what really is simple: Do we want to be resentful, miserable and complain, or do we want to feel empowered in our own lives to meet our own needs?

When the latter, the only option then is to be kind and be clear, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. We all do the best we know how to do. When we know better, we do better. That actually makes us the entitled party when we engage that way.

Research bears out, that except in the case of abuse or addiction, unless you take hold of your own reactions, you will not be happier in another relationship.

Hi Laura. I have a selfish husband. But since I tried remembering to use some or all of the intimacy skills, i find that he is much happier at home. And not in a nagging sort of way, like I used to. This article is awesome because it reminds me that I should not nag and that a bit of humor goes a very long way with men.

The first time we behave this way will always give the least result, and then it grows…the thing you feed. He will pitch in. Because he is allowed to. There have been times when I could only muster up a toasted sandwich for dinner, and he was OK with it because he was dog-tired too. When I went away last week, he did the laundry.

Bless his cotton socks, but it was done differently to what I do. We are all different in our own way. Thank you for helping me to treat my husband differently from the way I grew up with! Great article. Men never respond well to complaints, but they do respond to our desires.

I an taken aback by some of the disrespectful comments on this thread. Thinking your husband is a child is disrespectful. How can any women expect intimacy fron anyone when they think of them as a child or undeserving of gratitude and respect?

They know how you think of them. If you think your husband is a moron, that will be your self fulfilling prophecy. Jennifer, you said it exactly how I feel. I have three boys and sometimes he acts like a forth. Men are very selfish and want the attention constantly. Be a father instead of taking the remote and hogging everything watch their shows play their games.

Is there an article that would help me to think about what to do about a husband who has met a woman and wants to see her, and in general has decided that he wants to be able to be with other women, but also wants to stay married to you? My husband is self centered, inconcederate, not caring at all to point that it has to do with my health, he never asist in home chores, never! The most painful part is selfishness as it involves intimacy, he only want to have sex when he want to, and postpones mine..

No thanks. I have no need for the type of man I have train. This is crap advice, but perfect for women who still want to do more to get the lazy schmuck to pull his own weight. My Husband is so lazy he leaves empty cartons and wrappers in the fridge, we have one dining table he has not taken it to so called his room as he says he wants to study while i sit on the ground with my laptop and work.

I bought the dining table but he needs everything for himself my children and me sit on the floor and eat as my husband took the table in his room. He does everything to make it comfortable for himself and he doesnt care the inconvenience he causes others.

I pay for his credit card debt every month, he has made SGD debts and i pay for everything, if i ask him to help me with the kids putting them to sleep, bath, etc he says o but never does it, he doesnt do the dishes, he does work at home only on his moods. He mocks me, insults me, never appreciates me. First he was so abusive he use to hit me every weekend after councelling that has stopped, but he still hits the kids, his anger is out of control. I have to agree with him at all the time or else he gets very angry.

He demands me to give him attention when i have work, 2 kids to look after and housework to do. If the kids cry he doesnt care he says to let them be and to give him attention or focus on what he has to say. He never spends time with the kids.

Honestly i wish he was dead because if i do try to get a divorce he will make it very ugly and take his anger out on the kids. Plus he asked me to quit my career to be available. What more can a woman do? How can I use your skills with a man like this? In my opinion no matter what I do will not be good enough. I have felt this same hurtful resentment. I would say to make a list of your own personal goals and accomplish at your own pace.

Assign schedule for everyone. First thing in the morning. It would probably help to meditate on good words and pray for self control. If your like me ,you build up or bottle up then explode. Examine your own upbringing and ask yourself important questions as to how you felt toward your upbringing or lies that you may believe about yourself that are untrue. And your just coping the best way you know how about venting your frustrations. You sound like you should NOT be coaching women who need help.

WOW how embarrassing for your clients. Whatcha got? There are some great advice here and that makes me happy for my sisters that they worked for them. What do we do when we have done all we can?

When you work hard and bring in more than half of the bread every month and still have to carry the bulk of the weight of the children raring house keeping cart, what do you do then? I am tired of being microanalyse.. Thanks, All tried out. What do you do when you stop doing your normal responsibilities, but the house goes to crap?

I can ask a million times to do one task and nothing ever gets done. I am talking months. I waited 6 months once and he just put the trash into the garage and not outside in the cans…. Maybe one makes it into the bin a day. I am feeling overwhelmed by the mess. I feel like I am raising 3 children instead of two. I get told that I complain too much if I remind him of things or ask when something is going to get done.

Why is it that the woman is supposed to cover for the man? You make it sound like he is somehow unable to do the things a woman does. Are his arms missing? His ability to keep track of time broken? His ability to have any thoughts for anyone but himself is staggering.

Why is it up to the woman? And yet here we have one more article telling us that we should coddle him more. Either he gets with the program or he can get out. I agree Amber. When I suggest to my husband that he needs to help out more around the house I have my own full time business and do all the chores he goes in a big huff and I get the silent treatment like I have said something wrong.

Then not only do I have to deal with my frustration at having a lazy husband and am exhausted from doing everything, but have to deal with his passive aggressive treatment too. I think he should be big enough to notice himself but ok I guess. I get angry and forget at this point. He pays.

He has inattention blindness around me but snaps out of it around others. Thanks for your article and I pray I can use it to change our situation! My husband is a teacher and he loves helping kids. But he has this one boy that I feel he is obsessed with. My husband is over 40 years old and this boy is They call each other everyday, send messages, saying I love you and I support you and believe in you. They go on day trips and my husband does not tell me about these and where they are going, I always find out by accident, when a card falls out of his pocket or something, or I see pictures on my husbands phone.

Whenever they want to hang out, my husband does not mention his name, but I know he is going to him. I have banned this boy from my house, because it does not feel right to me that he spends hours with my husband in the study while my husband is busy prepping for school then he studies I have confronted my husband on what is happening here and he convinces me that it is all innocent. He loves this boy like his own son, he says this boy is his best friend and son.

My husband grew up without a father, so he is looking for that deep intense relationship with this boy. I saw a message by accident when my husband said his heart wants to pop out of his chest with happiness that this boy was living across the road, he is so happy to have him near him and seeing him everyday, he is even struggling to breathe he cant believe it, I dont even get this much love, care, softness, calls, messages On seeing this messages I went numb and jittery, my husband on confrontation said it is just a game they played sending each other messages like this Am I just being overly jealous over the relationship they have and the time they spend together and the deep emotions running here, or am I right in feeling that something is not right?

My husband says everything is innocent, it is his son… he sees nothing wrong… We went out for 7 years, married for 4. Last year while all of this was happening my husband pulled away from me and he told me, he got so caught up in his own life, that our relationship came last. Some perspective on this would really be great please.

But what about a husband who expects a woman to do everything perfectly and doesnt want to lift a finger, who constantly asks, whats for dinner, whats for lunch, can you get me this can you get me that, make me a plate, etc, the trash is overflowing, theres dishes in the sink, why cant you do this…and then gets angry or frustrated when the wife lapses or doesnt do a perfect job?

My husband comes from a more traditional culture so maybe this is why,, but not doing things or asking him to do things unfortunately doesnt work in this case not without him being resentful because i guess as a man he feels household work is idk, beneath him?

Not only these thing but he neglected me for years only wanting to spend time with his friends. So i always felt isolated, lonely, desperate for true companionship, and like a servant or maid or something. I hear you! That sounds exhausting! Yeah I have tried to stop doing things with my husband. He eventually will help but his excuse is that if he didnt do it then it wouldnt get done and thsn im called lazy and I ysed to be so much better at being a wife.

This man owns his own business but makes me do all if his phone calls. Another thing…I am diabled. Bad back. Heart problems. But im expected to do it all. If I try to talk to him his only solution every time is if I dont like how he is then I can leave. Become Desired, Taken Care of and Special! Get The Roadmap. But there is a solution.

Click To Tweet 1. Ask Yourself This Question Rather than complaining when your husband appears selfish, consider turning the complaint into a desire and expressing that instead. Laura Doyle. Confused, you must have missed that they are separated, that is why he acts like a single man.